Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Also in the news, a panel of experts in human psychology recently released the results of its 2-year study on the effects of watching sarcastic modern-day cartoons such as ‘Futurama’.Their findings shocked the scientific world and have caused many ripples in society.

Apparently, leaving shows such as ‘Futurama’ on in the background while in the presence of hot girls causes the girls to lose their mind and volunteer for cheaply improvised bonadage sessions. See below for an illustration of how this works:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Blakk Frogg plans on stopping by Best Buy on his way home from work to get all the seasons of that show on DVD and Home Depot for about 20 feet of clothesline… so ladies, feel free to drop by Frogg’s Place at your convenience.

You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

Recent events in life have caused Blakk Frogg to wonder if fate will ever hold out anything good for him… or if it will perpetually serve him a heaping helping of nonsense:

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Where Blakk Frogg comes from, they affectionately refer to that very same ‘nonsense’….. as a shit sandwich.

The old priest lay dying in the hospital.  For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital in Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse

“I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die,” whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response.  Soon the word arrived; the Clinton’s would be delighted to visit the Priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President.  After all, I’m IN IT TO WIN IT.”

Bill agreed–it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the old priest took Bill’s hand in his right hand and Hillary’s hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.

Finally Bill Clinton spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

“Amen” said Bill.

“Amen” said Hillary.

The old priest continued … “He died between two lying thieves.  I would like to do the same.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

A Husband Store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.

— Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

— Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. — Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.

— Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.

— Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? — Kelvin, age 8

– And the #1 Favorite is –

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. — Ricky, age 10

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

The very popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments site operated by that ugly bastard named Blakk Frogg released a list of the Top Ten Most Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments for November 2007 this morning.

Yeah, that lazy bastard of a Frogg took two weeks to put the list together…. Deal with it!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Click here for Sarcastic Myspace Comments 6 through 10

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.

The priest asked, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?

Yes, Father it is.

And who was the woman you were with?

I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.

Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?

I cannot say.

Was it Teresa Volpe?

I’ll never tell.

Was it Nina Capeli?

I’m sorry but I cannot name her.

Was it Cathy Piriano?

My lips are sealed.

Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?

Please, Father, I cannot tell you!

The priest sighs in frustration. You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

Four months vacation and five good leads.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

As usual that lazy Blakk Frogg took his sweet time putting the list of popular myspace comments from one of his domains… but at least he didn’t take a dump on your windshield this morning.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

For those of you who have not yet gotten offended, or turned on, whichever the case may be, please check out Americas Best MySpace Comments 6 – 10 …. and don’t forget to flush!

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy right now.”

Brief Pause.

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

“I did it Daddy.”

“And what happened honey?”

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh, my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared, and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool, and I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool?” Is this 555-9600?”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Let us never forget that Blakk Frogg loves everyone and has no problem making fun of… everyone. Today he will post some jokes about Italians from an email he rec’d… from an Italian.

Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said (To New York) TO NY

You know you’re Italian when…

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can’t fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5’9″, it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on! your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you’re Italian when…

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . .. . only fish.

Your mom’s meatballs are the best.

You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.

You know how to pronounce “manicotti” and “mozzarella.”

You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy.”

You’ve called someone a “mamaluke.”

And you understand “bada bing”.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

And so now, before you label Blakk Frogg an anti-Italian racist bastard, please refer back to his re-posting of an Editorial on Illegal Immigration, posting of Buckwheat Pictures for MySpace and posting of a joke about Dumb Hillbilly Wives… and you’ll see that he really and truly picks on everyone equally. 😛