Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Gross’ Category

With the approach of Halloween comes the inevitable slew of interesting and unusual costume pictures getting posted on the Internet. Today we’d like to highlight a Halloween costume that we believe may win first prize for most disgusting Halloween costume ever. Enjoy!

Tampon Ninja
Most Disgusting Halloween Costume Idea: Tampon Ninja

For those of you NOT interested in dressing up as a female hygiene product assassin, the Frogg Wear Halloween Blog. It’s got more than 2,000 costumes and costume accessories for kids and adults to browse through. Definitely a good place to look for costume ideas!

It amazes Blakk Frogg that signs like this get posted. Seriously, folks… If you have to look at a sign like this for instructions on how to properly check a baby’s diaper, well, maybe you ought not to have had children in the first place! Does it take a rocket scientist to figure out that jamming your hand down the back of a diaper to check for poop will end badly most times?

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Oh, now you certainly didn’t think Blakk Frogg had nothing more to add to this early morning posting, did you? Shame on you! Blakk Frogg can ALWAYS find a way to expand on something as ridiculous as diaper changing instructions!

Watch this:

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Yep. He got the ‘poo finger’ and wants to wipe it on you!

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following tems on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue… salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys… smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks… this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits… At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, “Jesus, what do you call that drink?”

She smiles widely at him and says, “Blow Job Revenge.”

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In a strange and unusual series of events, Blakk Frogg came across thye carcass of a world-renowned animal actor named ‘Stuart Little’ last night. While Blakk Frogg refuses to say WHY he visited an area of The City known for prostitution, gambling drugs and free wireless internet… the fact remains that Stuart Little has, in fact, passed on. View pic below for details:

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Yeah, sure,that looks like nothing like Stuart Little. So what. The title got you to click the link, right? 😛

While browsing through an unnamed personals magazine, for professional reasons, Blakk Frogg came across the following photograph and figured he ought to share it with the rest of you and call it “Pimp Looking for New Hoes”.

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Now if you will please excuse Blakk Frogg has a few ‘professional’ emails to send to somereal hot chicks who go by the screen names of ‘Dances With Dildos’, ‘Ready to Hump’, and ‘Ready to F##k Frogg’.

A biker walks into a convenience at about 2:30 in the morning. He walks up to the cashier and asks “Where are your tampons?”

The clerk tells him, “Right down on aisle three, on the end to the left.”

The biker disappears down the aisle and finally, about 45 minutes later, he returns carrying toilet paper and cotton balls.

The cashier starts to ring him up and says, “You know, I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you were here for tampons.”

The biker tells her, “Well, last week I sent my ol’ lady out for smokes and she comes back with zig zags and tobacco. By God she can roll her own, too!”

Guess What Happened Next?

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Last night as Blakk Frogg lamented over having to go to bed alone it suddenly occured to him that he had the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion for a night of raunchy, hair-pulling sex cannot safely do… so he let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and his feet to get real warm, real fast.

The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.

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OK, this got on Blakk Frogg‘s nerves last night.

Why do some guys feel the need to grunt, groan, sigh loudly and/or say, “Ohhhhhhh…..? Whew. Oh boy this feels good” while using the urinal in a public restroom? Do they think anyone CARES to hear that sort of thing?

Better question: Do they do that at home as well or do they save those special performances for public outings?

So fellas, if you fall into the category of ‘Dipshits Who Do That’, please STOP.

No one cares about or wants to share in your moments of personal joy at the urinal.

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From time to time Blakk Frogg writes some rather interesting things he sends in the emails to good friends…. and this time he had a few things to say about his sex life:

I wouldn’t be able to last more than 15 seconds w/ a woman these days ‘cuz of stress and ‘lack recent wiener activity.

She’d hello and tell me her name and I’d already have to clean the protein smears from my underwear.

So, so wrong and unfair to me. Ever hear of blue balls? Mine are burgundy.

I’m the walking, talking, Special Olympics of sex.

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“Oh, the humanity!” exclaimed the poor listless soul who opened this blog entry and saw…. THIS!

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Blakk Frogg figured that if HE had to endure this image so early in the damn morning, well, so should the rest of you.

As always, have a nice day…. and may this image haunt you for all your days!

blakk frogg

p.s. —-> and don’t act like you won’t send that to all your ‘best friends’, either, ya’ filthy little animals!

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About This Site

First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.

  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]