Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

You read the Subject of this page correctly. The Simply Frogg Crew wants you to take a good, long look at this bra and guess what size breasts it holds….

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Think you know the answer? Huh? Do ya? Well you’re in for a surprise! Why? Those things in the bra cups don’t BELONG in a bra!

The poor, poor kid whose parents tortured him like this will undoubtedly need tons and tons of therapy ‘cuz of this little joke they played on him!

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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration.

“Thanks,” the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer & noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar & to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the firefighter said “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

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A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding Bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See, he mated 50 times last year … Once-a-week.”

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.”

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.”

The wife said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”

NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.

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You can now ‘safely’ ask a woman if she likes the taste of big nuts…

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NOTE: Blakk Frogg accepts no responsibility for what happens to the dumbasses who approach a woman thinking they can ACTUALLY ask a girl if she mindsthe taste of Big Nuts.

There exists a faction of fellas who adore the big girls. They say things like, “More cushion for the pushin'” and “There’s just more to love.” OK. Fine. We get that point… but at what point does the girl become too big even for THOSE guys, huh?

Where do they draw the line?

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Just… Wow. Does anyone besides Blakk Frogg feel like throwing up all over their keyboard right now ‘cuz if not, you may already have had a heart attack from shock and died.

As a token of our esteem, and to let you know how much you matter to us, we’d like to offer the following love-making tip you ladies can give to your partner bfore you begin bumping uglies, doing the nasty, playing hide the salami…. er, we meant to say ‘making love’:

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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks,

“Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”

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‘Be Very Quiet,’ said the father to his son.

Father and son went hunting together for the first time.

The father said: ‘Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.’

A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.

‘What’s wrong?’ the father asked. ‘I told you to be quiet.’

The boy, bless his heart, answered;

‘Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.

I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.

I didn’t move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder.

I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me.

I didn’t cough when I swallowed the gnat.

I didn’t cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching.

But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’

‘Well, I guess I just panicked ‘

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