Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cowgirl replies, “Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia , the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” she explains, “It’s just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.”

“Hasn’t affected my sisters though.”


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A guy is out with buddies – has few drinks – is feeling a little frisky but, true to his wife, goes home.

He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open, so he gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth. She starts to choke, but recovers and asks, “What did you put in my mouth?”

He says, “Two aspirin.”

She replies, “BUT I DON’T HAVE A HEADACHE!”

He says, – “That’s all I wanted to hear.”


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

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Note: Posting that last joke has resulted in Blakk Frogg going into hiding because women worldwide now want him dead. d-e-a-d.

Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking their ice cold beers.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife – she hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.”

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, “You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find.”

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!”

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed…3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem mad at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

When I asked him, “Why?” he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh Shit”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

For years Blakk Frogg avoided tequila. He simply could not stand the smell or taste of the stuff. It made him gag each time people around him drank it even if he wasn’t joining them.

Then, one day, he met a bartender who SWORE she knew a way to get him to drink tequila…..


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Needless to say, Blakk Frogg learned to love tequila…. until the ugly, hairy, fat bartender showed up. Yuck. Straight back to bottled beer he went!

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the morning!

He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!”

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk.


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking wine and beer…

It Scared the shit out of me.

So that’s it!

After today, no more reading.


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Could you imagine working for a 500 (or so) person agency, company or other organization whose staff contained folks of this nature? Take a look through the list and ask yourself if you would have any faith in them. These numbers caome from just 1 years worth of data, so just imagine if we looked at this group’s full rap sheet!

  • 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
  • 7 have been arrested for fraud
  • 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
  • 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
  • 3 have done time for assault
  • 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
  • 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
  • 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
  • 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
  • 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year…

After reading all those charges, allegations and convictions, would you feel confident that your retirement funds will stay safe in the hands of those responsible for the organization? Also, as an added bonus, can you guess what REAL LIFE ORGANIZATION we have just examined?organization this is?

It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.


Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

The month of November has come and gone… which means the time has come for Blakk Frogg to proudly display the most popular MySpace Comments for the past month.

americas best myspace comments
Americas Best MySpace Comments

americas best myspace comments
Americas Best MySpace Comments

americas best myspace comments
Americas Best MySpace Comments

americas best myspace comments
Americas Best MySpace Comments

americas best myspace comments
Americas Best MySpace Comments

Click Here for Popular MySpace Comments 6 – 10

Blakk Frogg moved to the South a little more than three years ago and loves the weather down here. Additionally, he has met some rather unique and interesting people who may actually OWN and or DO some of the things you’ll see below:


redneck palm pilot

redneck wedding reception

redneck weather station

redneck cat

redneck lottery winner

redneck lawnmower

redneck horseshoes

redneck harley

redneck gingerbread house

redneck guest bedrooms

redneck grill

redneck bass boat

Find more Redneck Pics for MySpace here.


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]