Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Blakk Frogg says, “Accidents and coincidence often collide on snowy roads. I have no idea what that means.”

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So…. you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”.

Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God.”

The woman continues, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police….”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are evil. Don’t mess with them.

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Blakk Frogg says, “Always remember where you park your wheels.”

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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the Night celebrating Ireland’s draw with Germany.

Mick, the bartender says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy”. Paddy replies “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.”

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. “Sh#te,” he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face.

“I’m fockin’ focked,” he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says “No fockin’ way”. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says “I can make it to the bed.” He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says “Fock it” and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?”. Paddy says, “I did Jess. I was fockin’ pissed. But how’d you know?”

“Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub.”

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Blakk Frogg has always found great amusement in watching people inverting their bodies over a keg while their friends held the business end of a tap (the hose for all you rookies out there) in their mouth… with the idea in their head that the longer they stay inverted and drinking, the more people will respect and admire them.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

OK, well that worked at frat parties, house parties and even at a variety of other types of parties that Blakk Frogg has had the pleasure of attending. But NOW he thinks he has found the Ultimate Time for a Keg Stand!

No, not after a mid-term. No, not after graduating college. No, not after winning the lottery and finding out you also inherited all of Microsoft, either.

Think of it this way: Nothing screams, “I’m so happy to be getting hitched!” more than doing a keg stand at your own wedding… in your wedding dress!

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Now no one’s saying that sort of behavior is wrong, but it certainly is a bit unusual… Bottoms Up!

Everyone knows Blakk Frogg likes to drink. Therefore, he proudly presents you with a joke about the creation of a new, yummy mixed drink BOUND to make the ladies squeal!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks, “Bartender, got any specials today?”

Bartender answers, “Why yes, as a matter of fact we do, a brand new drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It’s a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka.”

The guy asks, “Good grief, what do you call that?”

The bartender replied, “A Pabst Smir.”

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cowgirl replies, “Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia , the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” she explains, “It’s just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.”

“Hasn’t affected my sisters though.”

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A guy is out with buddies – has few drinks – is feeling a little frisky but, true to his wife, goes home.

He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open, so he gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth. She starts to choke, but recovers and asks, “What did you put in my mouth?”

He says, “Two aspirin.”

She replies, “BUT I DON’T HAVE A HEADACHE!”

He says, – “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

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Note: Posting that last joke has resulted in Blakk Frogg going into hiding because women worldwide now want him dead. d-e-a-d.

Do NOT lose your Grandkids in the Mall…

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”

The cop asked, “What’s he like?”

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

“Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.”

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Blakk Frogg loves posting stuff like this! Check out these popular Americas Best MySpace Comments for the month of December 2007! Yeah, sure, it took him forever to post these, but at least he washed his hands after using the bathroom this time!

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

More AmericasBestMySpace.Com Comments

OK, so Blakk Frogg has already shown you the popular myspace comments on several sites for the month of December 2007…

…but what about the ones most people have not seen yet ‘cuz they have not made it into the top lists yet? Simple! Blakk Frogg will post 10 of those non-winning MySpace Comments from Americas-Best.Com right now!

OK, so Blakk Frogg has already shown you the popular myspace comments on several sites for the month of December 2007…

…but what about the ones most people have not seen yet ‘cuz they have not made it into the top lists yet? Simple! Blakk Frogg will post 10 of those non-winning MySpace Comments from SarcasticMySpace.Com right now!

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

less(?) popular myspace comments on sarcasticmyspace.com

Hope you enjoyed these comments and come back again soon ‘cuz Blakk Frogg plans on posting a lot more of these poor, neglected MySpace Comments in the near future!