One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.
First, she called! on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”
She said, “Excellent, Michael!” Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.
“Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'”
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Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little TONY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little TONY answered, “No, he minded his own damn business.”
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Last night as Blakk Frogg lamented over having to go to bed alone it suddenly occured to him that he had the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion for a night of raunchy, hair-pulling sex cannot safely do… so he let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and his feet to get real warm, real fast.
The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.
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OK, this got on Blakk Frogg‘s nerves last night.
Why do some guys feel the need to grunt, groan, sigh loudly and/or say, “Ohhhhhhh…..? Whew. Oh boy this feels good” while using the urinal in a public restroom? Do they think anyone CARES to hear that sort of thing?
Better question: Do they do that at home as well or do they save those special performances for public outings?
So fellas, if you fall into the category of ‘Dipshits Who Do That’, please STOP.
No one cares about or wants to share in your moments of personal joy at the urinal.
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From time to time Blakk Frogg writes some rather interesting things he sends in the emails to good friends…. and this time he had a few things to say about his sex life:
I wouldn’t be able to last more than 15 seconds w/ a woman these days ‘cuz of stress and ‘lack recent wiener activity.
She’d hello and tell me her name and I’d already have to clean the protein smears from my underwear.
So, so wrong and unfair to me. Ever hear of blue balls? Mine are burgundy.
I’m the walking, talking, Special Olympics of sex.
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“Oh, the humanity!” exclaimed the poor listless soul who opened this blog entry and saw…. THIS!
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Blakk Frogg figured that if HE had to endure this image so early in the damn morning, well, so should the rest of you.
As always, have a nice day…. and may this image haunt you for all your days!
– blakk frogg
p.s. —-> and don’t act like you won’t send that to all your ‘best friends’, either, ya’ filthy little animals!
Why do so many people have have such a hard time finding suitable companions? Why can’t the right mate find them? These two questions have plagued Blakk Frogg for a very long time…. until now.
Apparently, some morons in the Department of Transportation decided to put signs up around town and, well, you’ll understand WHY everyone has so much trouble finding happiness. See below:
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Now that we have the problem figured out, all we have to do is figure out HOW to get all 67,000,203 of these signs down.
Nothing ruins a nice evening at home (or in the backyard) with the pussy more than having to wade through excess hair. So, in the interest of appeasing the masses and keeping some similance of order in the world, Blakk Frogg has decided that he will take the initiative and insist that the pussy get shaved — today!
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Many of you thought this post would feature the anatomy of a woman getting trimmed, and for that Blakk Frogg really does NOT apologize. Get your minds out of the gutter! You’re in his parking spot!
– blakk frogg
If you ever get the Sudden Urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It’ll keep you from streaking.
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