Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

OK, so maybe we slacked off a bit recently with the posts… Deal with it!

At least we don’t drive around having sex like 25% of he population in Russia.

MOSCOW, Russia — Knowing that a high percentage of the drivers around you have been drinking vodka has always made driving in Russia a, shall we say, bit of a challenge, Voyeurwebbers. Now, it is even more of a challenge.

A poll released by KRC Research and Goodyear revealed that about 25 percent of Russians have had sex while driving…

Well… Vodka makes Blakk Frogg and all his amphibious bastard posse do many, many bad things. So this latest revelation(?) does not surprise us. At all.

We need lawyers… by the way. And more vodka. Lol.

Here… Have some skin. We hear it does a body good.

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

2009 has come and gone just as all the years before it and at various times throughout 2009 everyone laughed, cried, held their breath at times, panicked a bit, flew off the handle a few dozen times. . . and maybe some of you lucky bastards even got laid a few times.

In honor of last year’s timely demise, Blakk Frogg will now reveal the most popular Blakk Frogg Joke Blog Postings for the Filthy-Minded Masses. Enjoy!

• Potato Prostitute?
• Sarcastic Motivational Posters
• Dirty-Minded MySpace Comment Pictures
• Seven Types of Sex
• Cheerleader Spin the Bottle
• Carolina Panthers Cheerleader Booty
• Dear Abby Bass Fishing Letter
• Humor for Mature Minded Individuals
• Funny Jokes for Adults
• Love the Harley Davidson

Well we hope you enjoyed 2009’s most popular perversions and will continue to tune into Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog in 2010… ‘cuz we promise to keep posting stuff you will most likely deny ever reading!

Oh, and before we go, you really should Click Here to See Me Naked. Ha ha…

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following tems on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue… salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys… smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks… this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits… At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, “Jesus, what do you call that drink?”

She smiles widely at him and says, “Blow Job Revenge.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, ya’ self-righteous maggots! Time to celebrate the upcoming Christmas Holiday with some Christmas humor, funny Christmas pics and other stuff that more or less makes fun of Christmas!

Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…
you like peanut butter between your toes

And now we must begin the list of Christmas postings we’ve posted over the years on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog… so deal with it!

• Merry Christmas, Bitch! — a Blakk Frogg Favorite!
• Perfect Man, Perfect Woman, and Santa Claus
• Loud Fart on Christmas Morning

• Most Popular for Last 30 Days
• Funny Jokes for Adults
• Squirrels in Houses of Worship

• Train Set and Bad Language
• You Might be a Redneck Jokes
• Christmas Party in Alaska

• Facts About Reindeer
• Onions and Christmas Trees
• Pissed Off Santa Poem

• 20 Ways to Confuse Santa Clause
• Blondes Decorating My Christmas Tree
• Pedro and His Girlfriend

• No More Ho’s for Santa Clause?
• Reality for Pumpkins After Halloween Passes

Well there you have it. Blakk Frogg’s official Christmas posting. Now someone PLEASE get him a case of beer! Pronto!

The infamous Blakk Frogg has always warned people to watch what they eat… because one never knows when a friend, or foe, may have “slipped a little green, inside their spaghetti” (from Biz Markie’s Pickin’ Boogers Song).

Now, however, thanks to the folks responsible for Americas Best MySpace Comments, the infamous Blakk Frogg also suggests that people also watch WHERE they eat. See below for details:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

The above image raises questions, oh yes it does:

1) Is there a Mrs. Tube Steak wandering the streets alone, desperate for a set of buns to get between before getting smothered with the special meat sauce?

2) What the hell’s IN the special meat sauce?

Now that Blakk Frogg’s Sarcasm has most likely ruined your ability to have lunch, he, too, will now go and puke up his breakfast.

Americas-Best.Com Makes the Booty Go… Pa-DOW!

While browsing through an unnamed personals magazine, for professional reasons, Blakk Frogg came across the following photograph and figured he ought to share it with the rest of you and call it “Pimp Looking for New Hoes”.

Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

Now if you will please excuse Blakk Frogg has a few ‘professional’ emails to send to somereal hot chicks who go by the screen names of ‘Dances With Dildos’, ‘Ready to Hump’, and ‘Ready to F##k Frogg’.

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me …. it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got a view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

One day the little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and! if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test…..we couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep the condoms in your car.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said the man.

‘I’m going to Las Vegas’, said the wife, ‘I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

‘The man said, ‘Wait a minute!’, and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

‘Where the heck are you going?’, said the wife.

The man said, ‘I want to see how you’re gonna live on just $800 a year!’

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A biker walks into a convenience at about 2:30 in the morning. He walks up to the cashier and asks “Where are your tampons?”

The clerk tells him, “Right down on aisle three, on the end to the left.”

The biker disappears down the aisle and finally, about 45 minutes later, he returns carrying toilet paper and cotton balls.

The cashier starts to ring him up and says, “You know, I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you were here for tampons.”

The biker tells her, “Well, last week I sent my ol’ lady out for smokes and she comes back with zig zags and tobacco. By God she can roll her own, too!”

Guess What Happened Next?

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Council Bluffs who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Des Moines and one of my sisters, who lives in Ames, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Iowa City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Bettendorf for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Davenport. She is still a part time ‘working girl’.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Cornhusker fan?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

==========================

Dear Worried,

Can I have your sisters’ phone number?

Signed,

Abby’s Husband

Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments