Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, Bill, you didn’t” she exclaimed.

“Yes, I did.” he replied.

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh… She got fired too.”

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Find more jokes, and some even funnier ones, at Simply Frogg.

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.

The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?”

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Laugh Your Ass Off at the Simply Frogg Jokes Page…..

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”

She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.”

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More great jokes at…… Simply Frogg!

Stop thinking with your groin….. and read on, ya’ filthy pervert!

Friday night I ventured out of the apartment to take in the local Rock Hill, SC nightlife at a ‘spot’ called The Money. Those familiar with Rock Hill have most likely heard of the place and have definite opinions about the place. In general, people either love it or hate it with NO inbetween opinions. I, for one, like the place, but then again I go there to drink a few at their outside bar and people watch, not to get laid… although I wouldn’t necessarily OPPOSE an opportunity like that if it came my way. I am human after all.

But anyways, let us return to the matter of a questionable pussy at an odd hour of the morning. I left around 10:30 PM and at that time, to my knowledge, we had no pussy in the apartment. My roommate, a guy, had gone to his bed over an hour ago and no one else had been at the apartment all night.

I returned home later that night, more like a few hours before dawn, and found myself staring at noisy pussy in my living room. Um, WTF?!? My roommate does not LIKE pussy — of the feline kind. He pretty much HATES pussy — of the feline kind.

So, mildly intoxicated and totally confused I attempted to figure out a plausible explanation for the unexpected presence of pussy in the apartment. A lamp had fallen off an end table to the floor and a set of blinds had also come down. Damn that pussy got wild in the apartment!

Nope. No logical answers could I come up with so naturally I yelled upstairs with the intention of awakening my roommate so we could talk about this new pussy that I found. He lumbered down the stairs and looked at me as though I had lost my damn mind. I HAD lost my damn mind and it was all over the mysterious pussy in the apartment.

He denied all knowledge of the pussy and alluded to the fact that I must have brought it home with me from the bar. Um, hello? I went to a bar, not an animal shelter! He said he heard a cat in the apartment and dismissed it as part of a dream… apparently my roommate does not find it odd to dream about strange pussy. I don’t know about you, but I recognize all the pussies in MY dreams!

So, in the interest of personal sanity I locked the pussy in my room with me and passed out. The pussy curled up behind me and purred its way to sleep, apparently content with my having stroked it for a while.

I woke up to the pleasant feeling of a pussy grinding against my thigh and quickly realized the pussy in my bed did not belong to me. I had to get rid of it quickly because strange pussy might have diseases and damn that pussy made a lot of noise!

So, after explaining to the pussy that it needed to get back to its home, I walked downstairs and pussy came right behind me. Spoke briefly with my roommate who had assumed his normal place in from the of the television watching college football and he re-stated his lack of knowledge about the origin of the pussy.

Well, given that we live in a moderate climate and the cat obviously had a home someplace in the complex, as evidenced by the fact its owner(s) had taken the time to clips its balls off at some point, we opened the front door and let the pussy go free. We didn’t kick it out or throw it out, though. We merely gave it the option to leave and as expected, the pussy looked out the doorway, looked back at us, meowed loudly with a cute purring sound mixed in, and headed out.

Funny how pussy can enter your life so unexpectedly and depart just the same. For those that have never seen pussy, I will share my pussy pics with you. Yep. Free pussy pics.

Stop snickering, ya’ filthy little pervert! And put away the hand lotion, too!

What makes this story so great? Aside from the gratuitous and almost completely unnecessary use of the word pussy, this really happened. Somehow the cat slipped into the apartment while one of us came or went that night and got trapped all by its lonesome until I staggered home at, um, well, that’s a secret.

The husband was angry when he found out that his wife had been cheating on him.

He shouts at her, “I will play second fiddle to no one!”

She replies, “Second fiddle? You are lucky you are still in the band!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother. “Frank Brown showed me his willy today!”

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut”

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mum asked, “Really small was it?”

Sally replied, “No…salty!”

Americas Best Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Oh, you nasty little bastards and bastardettes for clicking the link that brought you here. Shame on you — and welcome!

Blakk Frogg will now show you pics of a girl who REALLY knows how to sneak up on, capture and consume a dildo!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Yep. Another poor dildo captured and consumed. Poor fella probably never knew what swallowed him, either. 😛

Time for Blakk Frogg to get back to cleaning the house…. or drinking beer, whichever comes first.

– blakk frogg

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If you liked this girl’s dildo eating antics, you have GOT to see the other girls on Girls for MySpace!

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… ‘Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!’ Now think about how you call a cat… ‘Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!’ Jeeezus, man. You’re fit to be framed, you’re so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or women’s funbags. Anything else and you are in ‘training’ and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy Latte’. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a ‘fressier’ is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.

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<strong>Disclaimer:</strong> The mighty <a href=http://blakk-frogg.com><strong>Blakk Frogg</strong></a> does NOT discrimnate against homosexuals, mexicans, chinese, greek, dead, nearly dead or mostly dead people….. just people who wear too much aftershave, cologne, smelly lotions, deodorant, and calamine lotion. So therefore don’t even THINK about blasting <a href=http://blakk-frogg.com><strong>Blakk Frogg</strong></a> with all your hate-filled emails.

It was funny, and you laughed… so shut your filthy sewer of a mouth!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
sarcasm makes me happy…. not that you care, though. Bitch.

One day, a wife greeted her husband at the front door wearing a very sexy nightie. Before he could speak, she said, “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So he tied her up and went fishing.

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A classy guy like that shops at Da’ Frogg Store and loves to flaunt the latest Frogg Wear.  Oh, and for those seeking pretty girls, well, try Girls for MySpace on for size.

Shameless self-promotion? Blakk Frogg? Never! That’s a lie. A rotten, stinkin’, dirty ass lie. He would NEVER think to slip a plug for his own products in the middle of this website. That would never happen. Not in a million years. Honest. He swears.

more blakk frogg “loves to nail”

more blakk frogg “pick your speed”

more blakk frogg “ready to screw”

So ya’ wanna’ wear one of these designs, do ya’? Then hop yo’ nasty ass over to blakk frogg’s cafepress site and check out all the Frogg Wear Original designs on golf shirts, t-shirts, camisoles, tank tops, sweatshirts, coffee mugs, beer steins, and… thongs & boxers!