Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

While many people have found love, happiness and contentment in their current relationship, Blakk Frogg would now like to address THE REST of the world who, like him, seems to suck at dating:

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And no, this does NOT mean Blakk Frogg gets hookers.  Not unless you count that time he paid your mom $17 to suck the poison out of a snakebite…..

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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God.

“It’s all so beautiful, God,” Eve replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights — everything is so wonderful; but I have just one problem. It’s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They’re a real pain,” reported Eve.

Eve went on to tell God that, since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced”.

“That’s a fair point,” replied God. “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.” And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. “Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she replied, “except for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has a bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a minute, and said, “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now, let’s see … where did I put that useless boob?”

Now doesn’t that make more sense than that story about the rib?

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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

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The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

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Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”.

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Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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Find other strange and unusual ‘sex-related’ comments and jokes on Simply Frogg.

A professor at University of Arkansas was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,

“How many people here believe in Ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands. “Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

3 students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

Way in the back, Bubba the redneck raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Bubba, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

Bubba replied, “Shiiiit! From way back there I thought you was talkin’ ’bout “Goats.”

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When desperate for sex and out of goats, sometimes a person has to lower their standards a bit…..

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Stop and ask yourself if you’ve missed out on any of the really cool stuff posted by Blakk Frogg over the past 30 days.  If you cannot say that you have read EVERY popular post, well, now’s your chance!

The top 10 most popular posts on Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog for the past 30 days begins…..  NOW:

• Definition of Perfect Woman
• Take the ‘Are You Gay’ Test for Guys
• Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
• Strange Pussy in the Apartment
• Dirty Feet Fetish? Just…. WHY?
• Why Some Girls Get Bad Grades
• Link to Shoplifting Seagull Video
• Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments (Sept 2007)
• Shave That Pussy Please
• Drunk Dialing Rule Book

So there you have the ten most popular postings for the last 30 days. Once you’ve read them all you can tell all your friends that you’re cooler than cool, hotter than hot, etc.

Then one of your friends will smack you back down to reality and all will be right with the world once more.

Have a nice day.

 – blakk frogg

And now for a short, quick joke…..

Q: What is a Dairy Queen
A: A gay milkman

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So simple that you’ll tell all your friends. Juast admit it, OK? Then find more free jokes at Simply Frogg.

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and puts the guy’s dick in the clamp. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.

The man, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO.. TO.. CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?”

The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:

“Nope. You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire.”

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Blakk Frogg has seen a case where ‘sex’ and fire have come together in the past…..

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Not sure what to expect here?

Every other year the Shocker Family gets together for a family reunion and this time, some bright member of the family brought a camera! So without further ado, please enjoy the following shocking family reunion photos:

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It stands to reason that someone will get mad at Blakk Frogg for posting that last image, but hey…. he already WARNED everyone that today’s post would contain mildly NSFW stuff — so stop hating on a Frogg, damn it!

“Oh, the humanity!” exclaimed the poor listless soul who opened this blog entry and saw…. THIS!

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Blakk Frogg figured that if HE had to endure this image so early in the damn morning, well, so should the rest of you.

As always, have a nice day…. and may this image haunt you for all your days!

 – blakk frogg

p.s. —-> and don’t act like you won’t send that to all your ‘best friends’, either, ya’ filthy little animals!

Nothing ruins a nice evening at home (or in the backyard) with the pussy more than having to wade through excess hair. So, in the interest of appeasing the masses and keeping some similance of order in the world, Blakk Frogg has decided that he will take the initiative and insist that the pussy get shaved — today!

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Many of you thought this post would feature the anatomy of a woman getting trimmed, and for that Blakk Frogg reall does NOT apologize. Get your minds out of the gutter! You’re in my parking spot!

 – blakk frogg