Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A Husband Store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

The very popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments site operated by that ugly bastard named Blakk Frogg released a list of the Top Ten Most Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments for November 2007 this morning.

Yeah, that lazy bastard of a Frogg took two weeks to put the list together…. Deal with it!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Click here for Sarcastic Myspace Comments 6 through 10

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.

The priest asked, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?

Yes, Father it is.

And who was the woman you were with?

I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.

Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?

I cannot say.

Was it Teresa Volpe?

I’ll never tell.

Was it Nina Capeli?

I’m sorry but I cannot name her.

Was it Cathy Piriano?

My lips are sealed.

Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?

Please, Father, I cannot tell you!

The priest sighs in frustration. You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

Four months vacation and five good leads.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

As usual that lazy Blakk Frogg took his sweet time putting the list of popular myspace comments from one of his domains… but at least he didn’t take a dump on your windshield this morning.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

For those of you who have not yet gotten offended, or turned on, whichever the case may be, please check out Americas Best MySpace Comments 6 – 10 …. and don’t forget to flush!

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy right now.”

Brief Pause.

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

“I did it Daddy.”

“And what happened honey?”

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh, my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared, and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool, and I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool?” Is this 555-9600?”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Let us never forget that Blakk Frogg loves everyone and has no problem making fun of… everyone. Today he will post some jokes about Italians from an email he rec’d… from an Italian.

Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said (To New York) TO NY

You know you’re Italian when…

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can’t fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5’9″, it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on! your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you’re Italian when…

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . .. . only fish.

Your mom’s meatballs are the best.

You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.

You know how to pronounce “manicotti” and “mozzarella.”

You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy.”

You’ve called someone a “mamaluke.”

And you understand “bada bing”.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

And so now, before you label Blakk Frogg an anti-Italian racist bastard, please refer back to his re-posting of an Editorial on Illegal Immigration, posting of Buckwheat Pictures for MySpace and posting of a joke about Dumb Hillbilly Wives… and you’ll see that he really and truly picks on everyone equally. 😛

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, “Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here try these on.’

She did and said, ‘These are too big! I can’t wear them.’

I replied, ‘Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will!’

Ever since that night we have never had any problems.”

“Hmmm,” said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, Here try these on.”

“She tried them on and said, “These are too large. They don’t fit me.

“Mike said, “Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike.

She said, “Here you try on mine.”

He did and said, “I can’t get into your pants.” Karen said,

“Exactly. And if you don’t change your smart-mouth attitude, you never will.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry: “9.”

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry: “36.”

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry: “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”

Harry: “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?”

Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”

Harry: “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last seven questions wrong.”

———-

More jokes like this (and dirtier ones!) on the Simply Frogg Jokes Page.

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand. He said “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”

The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity in the Lord’s House.”

The man said, “Preacher, I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”

The preacher said, “No shit?”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Sylvia and John took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they had concerns about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”

The next morning when the boy arrived at the table for breakfast, a large stack of warm pancakes sat in the middle of the table.

“Gee, Mom!” he exclaimed, “Are those really all for ME?!?”

“Just take two, son.” Sylvia replied. “The rest are for your father.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments