Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

Welcome to the fourth installment of popular adult myspace comments!  This time we bring you adult myspace comments from a NEW Blakk Frogg MySpace Project: www.adult-myspace-comments.com.

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Free Adult MySpace Comments

So there you have it. . . More perverted and sexual myspace comments to post on your friends’ pages, blogs, or whatever.

The last time I went to visit an elderly friend of mine at the nursing home I got told to wlk down the hall to the auditorium ‘cuz she had gone to play Bingo.

“OK, no problem.  I can hang out with a little Bingo w/ the old folks.  No sweat,” I thought to myself.

I had no idea what waited for me when I opened those doors.  I expected old people staring intently at their Bingo cards trying desperately to keep up w/ the odd combinations of letters and numbers coming out of the Bingo Caller’s mouth.

Instead, it seemed as though I arrived just a bit too early and saw this:

Americas Best MySpace Drugs Comments

Yep. A room full of old people getting ready to Bob Marley their way into winning big money.

Now who says old people don’t know how to have a good time, huh?

At the end of the service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly Lady.

“Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”

“I don’t have any,” she replied, smiling sweetly.

“Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?”

“Ninety-eight,” she replied.

“Oh Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?”

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

“I outlived the bitches.”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Blakk Frogg does not often delve into politics so it doesn’t matter what party you belong to – this is funny:

Allegedly from a show on Canadian TV, a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton during his stand-up comedy routine. . .

Yep, that’s right – I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.

• Number 1 – He played the sax.
• Number 2 – He smoked weed.
• Number 3 – He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him… his wife works, and he don’t! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “ClintonSoup,” in honor of one of the nations’ most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do the Hanky Panky between the Bushes.

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow accidentally goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”

She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

Oh, Bill, you didn’t” she exclaimed.

“Yes, I did.” he replied.

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh… She got fired too.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.

The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

“Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Americas Best MySpace Break Ups Comments

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop.

When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, “If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you.”

The hippie, of course, says that he’d love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord.

“If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,” says the bus driver, “You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you.”

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she’s in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. “I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first,” he says.

The nun agrees, but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, “Ha ha, I’m the hippie!”

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, “Ha ha, I’m the bus driver!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments