Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Once again we find ourselves poised and ready to take aim at blondes. Why? Because the Simply Frogg Crew received more blonde jokes in our email this morning! Sheesh. Must we explain everything to you?!?!?

• Blonde Joke Index
• First Blonde Joke
• Second Blonde Joke
• Third Blonde Joke
• Fourth Blonde Joke
• Fifth Blonde Joke
• Sixth Blonde Joke
• Seventh Blonde Joke

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Oh, and just to keep things interesting, we’ll add a blonde girl’s picture to each page… in case some of you forgot what they look like! 😛

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration.

“Thanks,” the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer & noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar & to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the firefighter said “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

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Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Let’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.”

Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”

“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lord – it’s 2007 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”

Ole says…….. “How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”

A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding Bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See, he mated 50 times last year … Once-a-week.”

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.”

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.”

The wife said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”

NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.

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The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news,

Posted the following headline:

NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas … The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.

So, be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer.

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

You can now ‘safely’ ask a woman if she likes the taste of big nuts…

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NOTE: Blakk Frogg accepts no responsibility for what happens to the dumbasses who approach a woman thinking they can ACTUALLY ask a girl if she mindsthe taste of Big Nuts.

There exists a faction of fellas who adore the big girls. They say things like, “More cushion for the pushin'” and “There’s just more to love.” OK. Fine. We get that point… but at what point does the girl become too big even for THOSE guys, huh?

Where do they draw the line?

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_big-girl-in-bed.jpg" width="350" height="442" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Just… Wow. Does anyone besides Blakk Frogg feel like throwing up all over their keyboard right now ‘cuz if not, you may already have had a heart attack from shock and died.

As a token of our esteem, and to let you know how much you matter to us, we’d like to offer the following love-making tip you ladies can give to your partner bfore you begin bumping uglies, doing the nasty, playing hide the salami…. er, we meant to say ‘making love’:

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This has been a public service announcement from Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments

Texan: “Where are you from?”

Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”

Texan: “OK, where are you from, jackass?”