Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

That Time of the Month?

Posted by: admin In: Jokes

Time of the month, eh? I’d say the moon must have entered a new phase because TWICE now in just over a week I’ve had to LOCK MY BRAKES because a female driver failed to recognize and/or acknowledge a 3,000 pound vehicle driving down the road she wanted to enter.

Last week a puff of white hair and knuckles pulled out of a driveway at 3 mph in her boat of a car, drove 30 feet down the road, and turned into another driveway. My speed had to go from 64’ish to under 20 in a very, very, short period of time. Needed the ‘ole lock and turn maneuver to avoid her – and she never even noticed it happened.

This morning I almost had the pleasure of exchanging phone numbers with a young (probably) trailer park chick in what looked like a blue cavalier with a bad aftermarket paint job. Apparently her driving instructor failed to mention that if stopped at a FLASHING RED LIGHT and the vehicle across from her has not, yet, moved… that she ought to take a good look to her left and right because the other driver might see ANOTHER VEHICLE WITH THE RIGHT OF WAY bearing down on that intersection. I got a twinge in my spine that told me to slow down a bit as I got closer to the intersection and I sit here now to TESTIFY that knocking those few mph off of my speed kept my fully brake locked vehicle from T-boning the dog snot out of that bad driving [insert ‘b’ word here] who never even acknowledged that she had come less than a few feet from getting my phone number and a most definitely a fast-paced trip to the hospital in a bone box.

Now before any of you females out there get all upset and emotional because you believe I have unfairly taken aim at woman drivers, don’t think for a minute that I care right now because I came THIS CLOSE to getting in completely unnecessary car wrecks because of two female drivers in under two weeks.

Tonight I’ll probably get run off the road by some drunk, unemployed GUY in a tricked out golf cart so in the end the gender issue will sort itself out and balance will get restored in my world view.

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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.

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