Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”
The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A circumcision.”
And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”
Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, “My fair maiden… I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope.” The second little boy was to reply by saying, “Hark!, a pistol shot.”
Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up. The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified.
They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin. The first boy yelled out these unforgettable words….. “My fair maiden…. I have come to kiss your snatch! And fill your hole with soap.”
The second boy screams out…..”Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, horse shit, this is bull shit… I never wanted to be in this stupid play anyway…”
