Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for March 8th, 2008

Blakk Frogg says, “Man or woman who not listen to words of wisdom is either deaf or really stupid.”

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Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you’ve been in it for awhile … it isn’t so hot.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, ‘Well, that’s not going to happen.’

If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is — it’s you.


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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child … she said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they’re a bunch of liars.


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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


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If you remember the 60s, you weren’t there.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?


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Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, “I wish you’d come to me sooner.”

You read about all these terrorists, most of whom came here legally, but hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let’s put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!

Note: This all sounds like commentary from George Carlin… so Blakk Frogg suggests you go and see what elses that crazy bastard has said lately!

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [making it hurt] burns 543 calories.


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Take off her clothes with her consent: 12 cal

Take off her clothes without her consent: 187 cal


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Take off her bra with two hands: 8 cal

Take off her bra with one hand: 12 cal


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Take off her bra with mouth: 85 cal

Putting on Protection …

Hard: 6 cal
Soft: 315 cal

Foreplay …

Looking for Target: 8 cal
Finding G spot: 92 cal
I Don’t F#$king Care: 0 cal

Entry …

Holding Her: 12 cal
On the Floor: 8 cal


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Entry With Different Position …

Missionary: 358 cal
Doggy: 316 cal
69 Lying: 286 cal
69 Standing: 512 cal
Italian Hanger: 912 cal


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Orgasm …

Real: 112 cal
Faking It: 315 cal

After the ‘Big O’ …

Lying in Bed: 18 cal
Hop off the Bed: 36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off: 816 cal


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Getting Dressed …

Quiet and Calm: 32 cal
Rushing: 98 cal
Her Boyfriend Opening the Door: 1218 cal
Her Dad opening the Door: 1942 cal


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  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]

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