January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!! Bottles won’t fit in typewriter!
March
Got really excited….. finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…. box said “2-4 years!”
April
Trapped on an escalator for hours….. power went out!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid….. wrong instructions…. 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!
June
Tried to go water skiing….. couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition….. learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August
Got locked out of my car in rainstorm….. car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is “C”….. isn’t it?
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days….. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 lbs!
December
Couldn’t call 911….. “duh”….. there’s no “eleven” button on the stupid phone!
What a year!
