Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine

11. It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass All Day

10. If the Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me

9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim ‘s Gettin’ Better

7. I Wouldn’t Take Her to a Dog Fight ‘Cuz I’m Afraid She’d Win

6. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight

5. I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You’re Still Here

4. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now

3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him

2. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

And the Number 1 Country Song is:

1. I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed with a Ugly Woman, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With a Few

Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking their ice cold beers.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife – she hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.”

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, “You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find.”

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!”

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed…3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem mad at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

When I asked him, “Why?” he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh Shit”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

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