She told me we couldn’t afford beer anymore and I’d have to quit.
Then I caught her spending: $65.00 on make-up, $150 for a cut & color, $30 for a manicure, $40 for a pedicure, $50 on vitamins, $300 on clothes and $600 for a gym membership.
I asked how come I had to give up stuff [...]

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute.
How can you tell which one is the prostitute?
Hold on…
You’re gonna love it…
It’s the one with the little sticker that says…
I - DA - HO

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife told him, “Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat”.
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements [...]

Four brothers left home for college, and they all became successful doctors and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”
The second said, “I [...]