Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE OFF FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL. BEFORE THE FINAL MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER’S TRAINER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, “NOW, DON’T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE’VE DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE’S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE OF THIS ‘PRETZEL’ HOLD HE HAS. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE DOES, YOU’RE FINISHED”;

THE REDNECK NODDED IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN OPENING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE KNEW ALL WAS LOST. HE COULDN’T WATCH THE INEVITABLE HAPPEN.

SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN TIME TO WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.

THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, “HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!”

THE WRESTLER ANSWERED “WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I OPENED MY EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD.”

SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, “THAT’S WHAT FINISHED HIM OFF?!?!”

“NOT REALLY. YOU’D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS.”

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Blakk Frogg strongly advises against biting one’s own balls. That shit sounds quite….. painful.

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A professor at University of Arkansas was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,

“How many people here believe in Ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands. “Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

3 students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

Way in the back, Bubba the redneck raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Bubba, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

Bubba replied, “Shiiiit! From way back there I thought you was talkin’ ’bout “Goats.”

—————–

When desperate for sex and out of goats, sometimes a person has to lower their standards a bit…..

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Stop and ask yourself if you’ve missed out on any of the really cool stuff posted by Blakk Frogg over the past 30 days.  If you cannot say that you have read EVERY popular post, well, now’s your chance!

The top 10 most popular posts on Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog for the past 30 days begins…..  NOW:

• Definition of Perfect Woman
• Take the ‘Are You Gay’ Test for Guys
• Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
• Strange Pussy in the Apartment
• Dirty Feet Fetish? Just…. WHY?
• Why Some Girls Get Bad Grades
• Link to Shoplifting Seagull Video
• Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments (Sept 2007)
• Shave That Pussy Please
• Drunk Dialing Rule Book

So there you have the ten most popular postings for the last 30 days. Once you’ve read them all you can tell all your friends that you’re cooler than cool, hotter than hot, etc.

Then one of your friends will smack you back down to reality and all will be right with the world once more.

Have a nice day.

 - blakk frogg

And now for a short, quick joke…..

Q: What is a Dairy Queen
A: A gay milkman

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So simple that you’ll tell all your friends. Juast admit it, OK? Then find more free jokes at Simply Frogg.

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and puts the guy’s dick in the clamp. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.

The man, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO.. TO.. CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?”

The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:

“Nope. You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire.”

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Blakk Frogg has seen a case where ‘sex’ and fire have come together in the past…..

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