The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These 500 Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee and North & South Carolina boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following five facts about terrorists:

The [...]

A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry.
When it came back there are still stains in her panties.
The next week she encloses a note to the Chinese laundryman that says, “Use more soap on panties.”
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. “Use more soap on [...]

On July 20, 1969, the first man walked on the moon. When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong made those first footprints, he not only gave his famous, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.
Just [...]

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing:
No one to blame.

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.”

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So [...]