You Know You’re in Bad Shape at Work When…
Posted by: admin In: Alcohol|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Drinking|Funny Jokes|Jokes|Sarcastic
Most of us have had the unfortunate pleasure of going into work with a hangover. Life gets pretty amusing for the span of time that you spend at work after downing a few too many brewskis, taking too many shots, and mixing too many different liquors the night before; especially if you get MAYBE, at BEST, two or three hours of sleep.
So, without further ado, “You know you’re in bad shape at work when…“
- The phone looks “too heavy to lift†when it rings.
- You groan every time you go to reach for the mouse.
- The thought of going to lunch sounds too much like work.
- Fax machines remind you of horror film sound effects.
- The clock snickers at you.
- Co-workers refuse to enter the bathroom after you for fear of what you may leave in there.
- Mt. Dew tastes like an elixir of the gods.
- You empty the water cooler by yourself…. And still can’t pee.
- Every time you exhale, a key on your keyboard melts.
- The mouthpiece on your phone gets disinfected by the vapors in your breath.
- Fluorescent lighting above you starts to sizzle your skin.
- The computer monitor in front of you looks and acts like a spotlight.
- You begin to sweat acetone from your eyelids.
- The idea of pooping your pants at your desk does not sound all that bad anymore.
- It feels like someone lit your eyeballs on fire with a road flare.
- Although the thought of alcohol offends you, Happy Hour still sounds like fun after work.
- You cannot, for the life of you, figure out what is so Happy about Happy Hour anymore.
- The hamster in your thought wheel is playing with a jackhammer.
- Elevator music offends you… a lot more than usual.
Thank you for reading an honest to goodness Blakk Frogg original. Now somebody PLEASE get Blakk Frogg a beer!