Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?”

“But Dad, it wasn’t my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That’s when she hit me!”

“Johnny,” the father said. “You don’t do those kind of things to women.”

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny’s father said, “Johnny, I thought we had a talk!”

“But Dad,” Johnny said, “It wasn’t my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn’t like this, so I pushed it back in!”

Americas Best Humor/Sarcasm Website

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Find Girls for MySpace that are MUCH hotter than Johnny’s teacher here.

A girl goes to confession.

“Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday.”

“Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??” the priest asked.

“Because, Father, he touched me on my arm without permission.”

“Do you mean like this??” He touches her arm.

“Yes Father.”

“That’s no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch.”

“But Father he also touched my breasts.”

“You mean like this??” He touches her breasts.

“Yes Father.”

“That’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”

“But Father, he took off my clothes.”

“Like this??” He takes off her clothes.

“Yes Father.”

“That’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”

“But Father he then put his you-know-what… in my you-know-where… and he wasn’t even using a condom.”

“Like this??” He put his you-know-what… in her you-know-where… without a condom.

“Yes father,” she says sometime later… after Father had finished with his you-know-what… in her you-know-where.

“But that’s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch.”

“But father,” the girl says… “He has AIDS.”

“THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!”

Americas Best Humor/Sarcasm Website

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Find more offensive jokes like that on Simply Frogg, but only if you promise to wash your hands thoroughly afterwards.

One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have crabs”

She informed the doctor that it could not be crabs because she was an eighty-year old virgin.

She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him. The doctor said, “You probably have crabs” “NO” she said, “I am an eighty year old virgin.”

Frustrated, she went to a third doctor. She said, “Doctor can you help me? I have an itch in my crotch. Don’t tell me that it’s crabs because I am an eighty-year old virgin. It can’t be crabs.”

The doctor said, jump on the table and let’s have a look.”

After examining her the doctor proclaimed,

“Ma’am, you”re right, you don’t have crabs, this cherry is so old, you have fruit flies!

Americas Best Humor/Sarcasm Website

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Find disgustingly funny MySpace Sex Comment Pictures

Two business men in NY City are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store isn’t ready only a few shelves are set up.

One says to the other, “I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious hillbilly from the south walks to the window, has a peek, and in a deep Southern drawl asks, “What’re y’all sellin’ here?”

One of the men replies, “Oh! We’re selling assholes here.”

Without skipping a beat, the southerner says, “Well, I see y’all’re doing really good, you only got two left!”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

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Stop calling Blakk Frogg an asshole just because he loves Sarcasm.

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned!

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

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Go and check out Sarcastic MySpace Comments …… if you dare!

Bad: You can’t find your vibrator.
Worse: Your daughter “borrowed” it.

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son’s room.
Worse: You’re in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.

Bad: Your husband’s a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Bad: Your son’s involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.

Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She’s a lawyer.

Bad: Your wife’s leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.

Bad: Your wife’s leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.

Bad: Your wife’s arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You’re arrested.
Worse: By your husband.

Good: The postman’s early.
Bad: He’s wearing camos and has an AK-47.

Good: The secretary said “yes.”
Bad: Your wife says “no.”
Worse: Wife caught the two of you and screamed, “Oh HELL no!”

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: He’s gay.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: So did the postman.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in.

Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.

Good: You get tickets to the theatre.
Bad: It’s performance art.

Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter’s the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend’s exercising.
Bad: So he’ll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your car conveniently “runs out of gas.”
Bad: For real.

Good: Your child’s “waiting for Mr. Right”.
Bad: Your son, that is.

Good: Your daughter’s on the Pill.
Bad: She’s thirteen.

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.

Good: Your son’s doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.

Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It’s counterfeit.

Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
Bad: Your daughter’s the star.

Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She’s coming home.

Good: Your wife’s kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.

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Good: You made it to Happy Hour
Bad: All the beer’s gone. Blakk Frogg would cry…..