Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

This next item needs no introduction, so Blakk Frogg will shut the hell up and show it to you without further ado….

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Now kindly step away from the Vehicle and no one will get hurt….. except for the idiot in the corner whistling Dixie and stroking his meat puppet. That boy NEEDS an ass whipping!

– blakk frogg

Have you ever had such a horrible day/week/month/year/life that even a shit sandwich seemed appealing? Well have you ever SEEN a shit sandwich? Huh? Have you?????

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Well now you have. Don’t say Blakk Frogg never did you any favors. Still hungry?

– blakk frogg

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Come and get your Sarcastic MySpace Comments while they’re still hot and steaming…. like a fresh shit sandwich!

Today’s buzzword for business: MARKETING

While many people use this word quite frequently, a good many more people ask for a simple explanation of “Marketing”. For all those people who need a little clarity on the matter, read these Real World Marketing Examples:

You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call him and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Junk Mail.

You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your butt… and he winds up Governor of California. You liked it at the time, but 20 years later, your attorney decides you were offended. That’s America.

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You can kiss Blakk Frogg’s smelly websites… and lick his goofy toes, too!

Everyone knows Blakk Frogg adores sarcasm. No secret there. So it makes perfect sense that he would thoroughly enjoy the ramblings of a man well-known for his quick wit, in-depth (and interesting) analysis of society’s ways, and, of course his sarcasm. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for…. George Carlin!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?
4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn’t be new.
8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

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In case of boredom, break glass over head and visit Simply Frogg