Blakk Frogg Joke Blog » Sex

Daughter Wants to Become a Prostitute… and Mom Objects!

admin — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:29:50 +0000

Just… WOW. When Blakk Frogg read this Dear Abby article he nearly choked on his breakfast. Ha ha. 18-yr old daughter lost her job and now wants to become a prostitute.

Sound like something too hard to believe? Read the full article here on Yahoo! and see for yourself, ua’ filthy bunch of non-believers!

Blakk Frogg’s Humble Opinion

Hilarious. An eighteen year old honestly believes that selling her body to any Tom, DICK or Harry will allow her to make more money and live a better life. What the Hell kind of upbringing did this girl have that she would really think a life of debauchery for hire on the seedy (another good pun!) side of life makes any kind of sense?

Congratulations, Mom (and others), on waiting until the last minute to let your daughter know that a fast-paced career on her knees won’t pay off in the end.

There will be no happy ending; except for the customer.

Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Please note that although Blakk Frogg opted to use the above funny stripper joke image in this posting, he does NOT equate adult entertainment w/ prostitution. He definitely sees a difference between a young woman ‘dancing for dollars’ around poles and a young woman spreading her holes for strangers’ poles!

Sheila is Blowing Chunks

admin — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:03:46 +0000

Although the whole ‘talking babies’ thing got played out YEARS AGO, every once in a while a funny picture surfaces… like this one:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Are You a Gay Male Test

admin — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:42:50 +0000

Yep. The answers you give to these questions will help you figure out whether or not you should consider yourself a gay man:

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay– it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… ‘Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!’ Now think about how you call a cat… ‘Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!’ Jeeezus, man. You’re fit to be framed, you’re so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or women’s funbags. Anything else and you are in ‘training’ and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy Latte’. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a ‘fressier’ is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudge packer.

Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

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Disclaimer: The mighty Blakk Frogg Crew does NOT discriminate against homosexuals, mexicans, chinese, greek, dead, nearly dead, mostly dead people, or people that look exactly like… YOU. He simply loathes and detests just people who wear too much aftershave, have crappy taste in cologne, bathe in smelly overpriced lotions, wear too much damn deodorant, and/or cover themselves in calamine lotion for pleasure.

Therefore please don’t even THINK about blasting Blakk Frogg with all your hate-filled, ignorant, anti-amphibian emails.

It was funny and you laughed… so shut your filthy sewer of a mouth!

Wii Fit Turns Woman Into Sex Addict

admin — Thu, 20 May 2010 18:35:10 +0000

Your loyal friend Blakk Frogg did NOT make this up:

Nintendo’s Wii controllers have wreaked havoc on flat screen TVs and tweaked more than a few elbows. That’s nothing compared to one UK woman’s claim that a tumble from the Wii Fit balance board turned her into a sex addict.

News service ANI reports that Amanda Flowers, 24, a catering worker in Manchester, England, damaged a nerve when she fell from the Fit board. When the slightest vibrations — cell phones, appliances — began to turn her on, she sought medical care. A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome, a rare and mysterious disorder the doctor linked to Flowers’ damaged nerve.

ANI reports that Flowers now “needs 10 sex sessions a day” to satisfy her sexual arousal. “With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply,” she told the news service. “Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me.” ( source )

Certainly you tuned into this blog posting for one of several reasons:

You own a Wii Fit Console and wanted to find out how you, too, could become a sex addict.
If true, the story of a Wii Fit Console turning a woman into a sex addict will serve as the final reason you need to convince yourself to go out and buy one.
You already have an addiction to sex and want something ‘plausible’ and/or ‘scientific’ to blame it on.
You fear that your current (unattractive) sex partner may suffer a similar fate and you want to know if you need to sabotage his/her Wii Fit Console so you don’t wind up having to ‘do the nasty’ 10 times a day to satisfy their needs.

So… What other reasons can YOU think of that caused people to flock to this blog posting, huh?

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas-Best.Com Popular Pics — March 2010

admin — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 14:03:42 +0000

Ready for the most popular pictures from the Americas-Best.Com web site for March 2010. Yep. That evil bastard of a Frogg got off his lazy butt and put the list together so you BETTER enjoy it!

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://americas-best.com" style="text-decoration: none;"> Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</a> funny and/or stupid things to make you laugh

Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments for March 2010

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 15:48:03 +0000

Sorry, but the content from this page had to move…

to Americas Best Comments & Jokes Blog

Caught Her Husband Cheating

admin — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:03:09 +0000

A rural Texas farmer’s wife came home and found her husband in bed with another woman.

She was so mad – she grabbed him by the hair of his head and yanked him right out of bed and across the room. She dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn.

She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old rusty saw.

The banged up farmer was terrified, and hollered, “Stop! Stop! you’re not gonna’ cut it off with that rusty damn saw, are you?”

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her cheating husband’s hand and said, “Nope. I’m gonna’ set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do what you gotta’ do!!!”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Wealthy Married Man’s Mistress Gets Pregnant

admin — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 09:03:09 +0000

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during a rendezvous, she confided in him she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back.

He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it,” he said nonchalantly.

The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

History: Blakk Frogg came across the above photograph mounted on the wall of an Italian restaurant on the outskirts of Munich, Germany near the old Munich airport. Not that too many of you would CARE where the image came from, but for those that did care, thank you for caring. As for the rest of you, go scratch!

Sex… and Russian Drivers

admin — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:09:47 +0000

OK, so maybe we slacked off a bit recently with the posts… Deal with it!

At least we don’t drive around having sex like 25% of he population in Russia.

MOSCOW, Russia — Knowing that a high percentage of the drivers around you have been drinking vodka has always made driving in Russia a, shall we say, bit of a challenge, Voyeurwebbers. Now, it is even more of a challenge.

A poll released by KRC Research and Goodyear revealed that about 25 percent of Russians have had sex while driving…

Well… Vodka makes Blakk Frogg and all his amphibious bastard posse do many, many bad things. So this latest revelation(?) does not surprise us. At all.

We need lawyers… by the way. And more vodka. Lol.

Here… Have some skin. We hear it does a body good.

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

2009 Wrap Up: Popular Postings for the Dirtry-Minded Masses

admin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:26:59 +0000

2009 has come and gone just as all the years before it and at various times throughout 2009 everyone laughed, cried, held their breath at times, panicked a bit, flew off the handle a few dozen times. . . and maybe some of you lucky bastards even got laid a few times.

In honor of last year’s timely demise, Blakk Frogg will now reveal the most popular Blakk Frogg Joke Blog Postings for the Filthy-Minded Masses. Enjoy!

Well we hope you enjoyed 2009′s most popular perversions and will continue to tune into Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog in 2010… ‘cuz we promise to keep posting stuff you will most likely deny ever reading!

Oh, and before we go, you really should Click Here to See Me Naked. Ha ha…