Blakk Frogg Joke Blog » Redneck

Dog Clings to Tailgate of Moving Pickup Truck

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:14:31 +0000

So the other day while standing in line at Wal-Mart I overheard an older lady telling the cashier, who didn’t really appear to pay much attention to the woman, that she saw a man driving a pickup truck down the interstate… with a dog hanging on to the tailgate for dear life.

I thought to myself, “Oh boy. Another weirdo at Wal-Mart.”

The woman continued on with her story despite the cashier’s total lack of response. She said, “If that man hadn’t been driving that pickup so fast in the other direction she’d have turned around and have tried to stop him. And save that poor, poor animal. It’s a shame what people do these days.”

And with those words, the old woman gathered her three bags and walked off.

Probably just a crazy old woman looking for some conversation, right? Ha! Not hardly!

A few weeks later my neighbor Jim stops me by the mailbox and tells me he saw the darn funniest thing he’s ever seen in his life so I ask him what he saw.

Jim takes out his phone and shows me this:

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Apparently Jim waited for the owner of the vehicle to come out of the store, ‘cuz retired people have time to wait around in Bass Pro Shop parking lots, and talked to the owner of the truck, a local taxidermist with a great sense of humor.

And it’s not a dog, it’s a coyote.

Christmas Humor, Jokes, and Pics

admin — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:15:38 +0000

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, ya’ self-righteous maggots! Time to celebrate the upcoming Christmas Holiday with some Christmas humor, funny Christmas pics and other stuff that more or less makes fun of Christmas!

Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…
you like peanut butter between your toes

And now we must begin the list of Christmas postings we’ve posted over the years on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog… so deal with it!

Merry Christmas, Bitch! — a Blakk Frogg Favorite!
Perfect Man, Perfect Woman, and Santa Claus
Loud Fart on Christmas Morning

Well there you have it. Blakk Frogg’s official Christmas posting. Now someone PLEASE get him a case of beer! Pronto!

Rednecks Caught in a Rainstorm

admin — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:51:17 +0000

Two rednecks were attending a party in the woods, when all of a sudden, the skies opened up and rained torrents on everybody. They ran for their car, jumped in, and gunned it. They were going pretty fast when an old man’s face appeared in the passenger window, knocking on it! The passenger screamed, but decided to roll down his window halfway.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Do you have any tobacco?” asked the old man. The passenger handed the old man a cigarette, and he went away.

“Go faster!” said the passenger. “I don’t want to see him again!” So the driver pushed the speedometer to 80 mph. But soon, the old man appears at the window again! Scared, the passenger rolls down his window again.

“Do you have a light?” said the old man’s face. Trembling, the passenger handed him a pack of matches. And the old man went away.

“Drive faster!” said the passenger. So they pushed it to 100 mph. But ten minutes later, the face returns. “What do you want from us?” screamed the passenger.

The old man gently replied “You jackasses want some help getting out of the mud?”

——————-

Get your Redneck MySpace Comments while they’re hot!

Popular Redneck Pictures — August 2009

Blakk Frogg — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:17:43 +0000

Not many people on the planet would argue that good redneck pictures can bring a smile to the face of just about anyone. Why? Just… Because.

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"> Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</a> you like peanut butter between your toes

Babies Born in a Hillbilly Home

admin — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:34:48 +0000

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County, Kentucky, a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!.”

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there”, said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.”

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby “No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.

The Hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, . .. . . .

“You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”

Americas Best MySpace Babies Comments

Funny Pictures From AmericasBestMySpaceComments.Com — May 2009

admin — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:57:40 +0000

Sorry, but we HAD to move the content on this page over to our Americas Best MySpace Comments & Jokes web site.

We apologize for any inconvenience having to ‘click’ one extra time may cause.

Mating Story of a Bull

admin — Sat, 23 May 2009 09:18:05 +0000

A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding Bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See, he mated 50 times last year … Once-a-week.”

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.”

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.”

The wife said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”

NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.

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Hunting Accident Joke

admin — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:07:27 +0000

Two redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

“There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

Canadian Visits a Rural Arkansas Bar

admin — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:26:44 +0000

A guy walks into a local bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.

The bartender says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?”

The guy says, “No, I’m from Canada.”

The bartender says, “What do you do in Canada?”

The guy says, “I’m a taxidermist.

“The bartender says, “A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?”

“No, a taxidermist doesn’t drive a taxi. I mount animals.

“The bartender grins and hollers, “It’s okay boys. He’s one of us…”

Texan Learns About Logic

admin — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 07:00:48 +0000

Two Texans, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.” Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Jim says. “What’s that?”

The dean says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.”

“That’s true, I do have a yard.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“Yes, I have a family.”

“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.”

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Bob says, “What’s that?”

Jim says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?”

“No.”

“Then you’re a queer.”