Blakk Frogg Joke Blog » Patriotic

Recent Immigration Poll in Arizona

admin — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 13:43:55 +0000

Latest Immigration Poll in Arizona:

The latest telephone poll taken by the Arizona Governor’s office, asked whether people who live in Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

29% of respondents answered: “Yes, it is a serious problem.”

71% of respondents answered: “No es una problema seriosa.”

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Disclaimer: The mighty Blakk Frogg does NOT discriminate against mexicans, dominicans, russians, ugly people, goat-humping people, anti-Castro demonstrators, flying squirrels, flattened squirrels, people of color, people who lack color, straight people, crooked people, people who hate people OR people who loved too many people, or the wrong people, and caught the gift that keeps on giving…. so don’t flood Blakk Frogg with your hastily written, hateful emails ‘cuz he posted this.

It was funny, and you laughed… so shut your rotten talk hole!

Al Qaeda Terrorist Goes to Heaven

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 14:26:51 +0000

Abu al-Zarqawi died and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates.
George reached back like a pimp, slapped him across the face, and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

Patrick Henry approached, drew back his fist, punched him in the nose, and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!”

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin, and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson then beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, “It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence!”

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding profusely and in excruciating pain, an Angel appeared.

Al- Zarqawi wept and with blood in his teeth said, “This is not what you promised me…”

The Angel replied softly, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Pro-American Comment Pictures

admin — Sat, 23 May 2009 14:57:17 +0000

Several years ago the infamous Blakk Frogg decided to compile a collection of Patriotic MySpace Comments so that people could show their love of and appreciation for the United States of America and the men and women who defend it. That project bears the name of America’s Best Comments and still exists to this day.

Below you will find a few of the more popular Patriotic MySpace Comments, as chosen by the 1,000′s of people who have visited this site over the past few years. Enjoy!

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com> Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments</a>

Yep. Blakk Frogg loves the United States of America and thinks everyone who lives here and does NOT love the country in which they so can exit stage right ANYtime they want — since they DO have the FREEDOM to do that.

Patriotic MySpace Comments

admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:35:07 +0000

Proud Americans everywhere love the smell of breakfast in the morning. Actually, we love breakfast just about ANY time of the day or night. Hence the popularity of Denny’s and Waffle House… but that’s not the point. Blakk Frogg wants to celebrate the upcoming US holiday (Memorial Day) with some Patriotic MySpace Comments from the AmericasBestComments.Com project. Enjoy!

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com> Patriotic MySpace Comments — Get Some!</a>

Everyone has the right to show their love of America, yes, but for the love of eyesight PLEASE put some clothes on, woman! * barf *

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com> Patriotic MySpace Comments — Get Some!</a>

Blakk Frogg thanks you for dropping in this morning, or afternoon, or evening, or night… and invites you all to breakfast at Denny’s — but you have to pay for your own meal.

Is It Safer in Iraq?

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:41:52 +0000

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq, here’s a sobering statistic:

There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths.

That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington DC.

George Bush, Star Trek and the Iranian Ambassador

admin — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:38:48 +0000

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, “You know, I Have just one question about what I have seen in America.”

President Bush said, “Well, anything I can do to help you, I will.”

The Iranian whispered “My son watches this show ‘Star Trek’ and in it There is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Japanese, but no Arabs. My son is very upset and doesn’t understand why there Aren’t any Iranians on Star Trek.”

President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and whispered back, “It’s because it takes place in the future.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Creating World Peace

admin — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:24:09 +0000

Three guys — a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total” says the Genie.

The Canadian says, “I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada .”

Pooooof! With a blink of the Genie’s eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, “I want an impenetrable wall around Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and Syria with all believers of Mohammad inside and all Jews, Americans, and other infidel forever outside our precious state.”

Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer asks, “I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall”.

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries……. it’s virtually impenetrable. Now what is your wish?”

The American engineer smiles and says, “World Peace.”

Pooooof! The Genie fills inside the wall with water!

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Looking for Real Americans

admin — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:19:10 +0000

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, “Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country, giving me housing, foodstamps, free medical care, and free education!”

The passerby says, “You are mistaken, I am Mexican.”

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!” The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, “Thank you for the wonderful America!” That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East. I am not American!”

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?” She says, “No, I am from Russia!”

Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”

The Russian lady checks her watch and says… “Probably at work.”

SimplyFrogg.Com and Americas-Best.Com

American Fans of the Olympics

admin — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:05:29 +0000

Although Blakk Frogg has paid the Olympics next to no attention at all, he has found the displays of National Pride in the stands at various events quite uplifting. Take, for example, this colorful young lady who CLEARLY loves the United States:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Then, of course, you’ll always have those few individuals who go a bit overboard with their enthusiasm for their country and make somewhat of an ass out of themselves — all in the name of loving their country:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

In either case, though, their pride in the United States shines brightly and although Blakk Frogg would much rather have a stadium filled with fans like the sexy young lady in the American flag bikini set, he seriously doubts that beautiful babe can chug beers and do belly flops better than the big guy!

Marine Sends Letter From Boot Camp

admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:20:49 +0000

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Americas Best Comments

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

Americas Best Comments

The country is nice but awful flat The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Americas Best Comments

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice