A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.
‘It sure is,’ I replied.
The boy looked back at the dog, paused for a few moments, and asked, ‘What did he do?’
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said.
‘Glory be unto the Faaaaather, and unto the Sonnnnn, and into the hole he gooooes. Amen.’
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
24 Jan, 2011
Posted by: admin In: Humor|Pretty Girls|Sarcastic
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’
20 Jan, 2011
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes
I was in Costco the other day, pushing a cart around, when I collided with a young guy also pushing his cart.
I said to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going..”
The young guy says, “That’s OK. It’s just a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
So, I said, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”
The young guy says, “Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?”
I said, “That doesn’t matter. Let’s look for yours.”
18 Jan, 2011
Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic
A real woman is a man’s best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .
No wait… Sorry… I’m thinking of beer.
That’s what beer does…
Never mind.
