A couple from Texas and a couple from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said, “So, where ya’ll from?”
The east coast girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where ya’ll from, bitch?”
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the life and death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote “The Hokey Pokey” died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part, for his family, was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in…
And then the trouble started.
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
She’s such a Bitch…
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.”
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “Well, dear, the f#ckin’ funeral director would be my first guess….”
