Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Sometimes men and women don’t quite see eye to eye on things and Blakk Frogg thinks he may have found the problem. Men and women have different definitions for some very basic words. See below for details!

THINGY (thing-ee) n.

• Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
• Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

• Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
• Male…. Playing football without a cup.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

• Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
• Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

• Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.
• Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

• Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
• Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

• Female…. An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
• Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-troh l) n.

• Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
• Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

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Your sister hangs out at Americas-Best.Com ….. and so should you.

A recent report issued by the folks at Simply Frogg announced to the world that some people just cannot handle the tough and strenuous rigors of high level athletic competition… and that others cannot handle simple garbage collection duties.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Yeah, the word, ‘ouch’ comes to mind at times like this.

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Once again the infamous Blakk Frogg dares to push the limits of good taste by publishing a blog entitled “Oral Sex”.

Oh, and if you HAVE to ask what “oral sex” means, either ‘cuz you never learned or have long since forgotten its meaning, you might wanna’ consider visiting your local ‘Red Light District’ for a crash course. And bring cash, ‘cuz Sally Streetwalker doesn’t accept American Express!

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

In case you want ’em for YOUR MySpace pages, blogs, whatever…. visit Simply Frogg MySpace Comments and pick up the drag-n-drop code today!

I said TODAY, damn it! TODAY!

– blakk frogg

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Little Johnny’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word “ears” he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said: “What a beautiful baby.”

The mother said: “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.”

Johnny said: “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

“That’s great,” said Little Johnny, “‘cuz he’d be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses.”

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won’t work.

10) TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the h___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I’m on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a pr_ck.

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And yes, Blakk Frogg works in an office — when he’s not at Happy Hour.

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We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below …

GUTS: is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS: is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: “You’re next.”

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.