Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

As Blakk Frogg has figured out through countless failed attempts at things at various stages in his life, no one can accomplish a task without the right tool for the job.  Unfortunately, however, some fellas mistake their manhood as a tool for ANY job. . .

Take, for example, this dumb ass motherfrogger who thought his weiner would work as a muffler cleaner.

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Yep. Some people really think WAAAAAY too highly of their private parts and try to use them in, well, inappropriate ways.

Blakk Frogg hopes someone starts the vehicle, he gets stuck in that oh-so-manly position, and dies from accidental inhalation(?) of carbon monoxide fumes through his weiner.

P.S. —-> At no time in the life of Blakk Frogg did he EVER think he’d see that shit — even on the Internet!

Some people in West Virginia have trouble with all those “shalls” and “shall nots” in the in the Ten Commandments. Folks just aren’t used to talking in those terms. So, some folks in middle West Virginia got together and translated the “King James” into “Mountain Country” language.

The Hillbilly’s Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at a West Virginia Church)

1. Just one God.
2. Honor yer Ma & Pa.
3. No tellin’ tales or gossipin’.
4. Git yourself to Sunday meetin’.
5. Put nothin’ before God.
6. No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal.
7. No killin’.
8. Watch yer mouth.
9. Don’t take what ain’t yers.
10. Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff.

Now that’s kinda plain an’ simple, don’t ya think? Y’all have a nice day!

Looks like you survived the early part of the week without too much damage. Therefore Blakk Frogg felt you deserved a special sexy treat — like triplets!

Sexy Triplets Wish You Happy Hump Day

Now if you can just make it to the weekend in one piece you’ll be doing just fine. Why? ‘Cuz Blakk Frogg plans on posting a new Sex on Saturday this week!

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Another weekend has come and gone. Cases of beer, a bag of charcoal for the grill, and countless pieces of grilled meat have all gone away. Now we turn and face the most horrible of things any human ever encounters: a Monday.

How shall we get through this tragic, yet necessary, day? With humor, that’s how.

Sexy Cowgirl Not Happy With Monday

Hot Woman Wants to Make Monday Better

Stay tuned for the next installment of Adult MySpace Comments because, well, we said so.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash…….. Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

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Two patients limp into two different Medical Clinics with the same complaint.

Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another month, and finally has his surgery scheduled for a year from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever; The second is a Senior Citizen.

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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace.'”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your Eminence.'”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?”

She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2,” hard bodied, well hung, Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, “My God…”

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