Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Let us never forget that Blakk Frogg loves everyone and has no problem making fun of… everyone. Today he will post some jokes about Italians from an email he rec’d… from an Italian.

Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said (To New York) TO NY

You know you’re Italian when…

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can’t fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5’9″, it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on! your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you’re Italian when…

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . .. . only fish.

Your mom’s meatballs are the best.

You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.

You know how to pronounce “manicotti” and “mozzarella.”

You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy.”

You’ve called someone a “mamaluke.”

And you understand “bada bing”.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

And so now, before you label Blakk Frogg an anti-Italian racist bastard, please refer back to his re-posting of an Editorial on Illegal Immigration, posting of Buckwheat Pictures for MySpace and posting of a joke about Dumb Hillbilly Wives… and you’ll see that he really and truly picks on everyone equally. 😛

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Due to the climate of political correctness

now prevailing in America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinians, Virginians

and West Virginians

will no longer be referred to as

HILLBILLIES.

You must now refer to us as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, “Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here try these on.’

She did and said, ‘These are too big! I can’t wear them.’

I replied, ‘Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will!’

Ever since that night we have never had any problems.”

“Hmmm,” said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, Here try these on.”

“She tried them on and said, “These are too large. They don’t fit me.

“Mike said, “Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike.

She said, “Here you try on mine.”

He did and said, “I can’t get into your pants.” Karen said,

“Exactly. And if you don’t change your smart-mouth attitude, you never will.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry: “9.”

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry: “36.”

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry: “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”

Harry: “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?”

Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”

Harry: “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last seven questions wrong.”

———-

More jokes like this (and dirtier ones!) on the Simply Frogg Jokes Page.

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

“Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me…”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord.”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand. He said “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”

The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity in the Lord’s House.”

The man said, “Preacher, I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”

The preacher said, “No shit?”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Sylvia and John took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they had concerns about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”

The next morning when the boy arrived at the table for breakfast, a large stack of warm pancakes sat in the middle of the table.

“Gee, Mom!” he exclaimed, “Are those really all for ME?!?”

“Just take two, son.” Sylvia replied. “The rest are for your father.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

The month of November has come and gone… which means the time has come for Blakk Frogg to proudly display the most popular MySpace Comments for the past month.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Click Here for Popular MySpace Comments 6 – 10

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s social status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter prepared for a date, the woman explained the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

Much to the woman’s surprise, the girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her saying, “Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! …… I’m dating Susan!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments