Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little booger’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my Husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically Telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

“If you want your breast to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet Paper and rub it between your breast for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and I stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

“How long will this take?” I ask.

“They will grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

I stop and ask “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts Every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”

Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

He is still alive, and with a great deal of physical therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man.

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Pay tribute to the United Stated of America by using these popular (free) Patriotic MySpace Comments on your pages, blogs and on all your friends’ (if you have any!) pages. Blakk Frogg loves his country. Never let it be said otherwise!

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

Americas Best Patriotic MySpace Comments

[ more patriotic myspace comments here ]

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again, and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?’

‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth,’ she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then?’

The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.’

Americas Best MySpace Foods Comments

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Some of you have asked Blakk Frogg to post when he adds new free MySpace Comments to his sites… so here, dear friends, you will find samples of what he has added recently and a link to go and get the HTML for the most recent…..

MySpace Animals Comments on Americas Best MySpace Comments:

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

OK, folks…. now point your browser on over to Americas Best Animal MySpace Comments for these and other Free MySpace Comments.

– blakk frogg

Two whales are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a ship above the water…

“This is the ship that killed my mother”, says the whale to his wife. “Let’s go turn their boat over. We’ll get under the boat and blow real hard…”

OK, the wife agrees and they blow real hard, causing the ship to capsize and there are a lot of sailors in the water, yelling, screaming and swimming…

“Actually, it’s the people on the ship that killed my mother” says Mr. Whale…”Let’s go kill the people and eat them…”

“Now, wait a minute” says Mrs. Whale, “I agreed to the blowjob, but I am NOT going to eat the seamen…”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.”

The doc said , “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.” So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, “You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, “Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, “Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “He’s probably down at the bar with his friends.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments