Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”

“I know,” the old man said. “We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.”

“Well,” Granny snickered. “Let’s relive some old times.”

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”

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Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, Bill, you didn’t” she exclaimed.

“Yes, I did.” he replied.

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh… She got fired too.”

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Find more jokes, and some even funnier ones, at Simply Frogg.

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.

The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?”

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Laugh Your Ass Off at the Simply Frogg Jokes Page…..

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”

She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.”

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More great jokes at…… Simply Frogg!

Stop thinking with your groin….. and read on, ya’ filthy pervert!

Friday night I ventured out of the apartment to take in the local Rock Hill, SC nightlife at a ‘spot’ called The Money. Those familiar with Rock Hill have most likely heard of the place and have definite opinions about the place. In general, people either love it or hate it with NO inbetween opinions. I, for one, like the place, but then again I go there to drink a few at their outside bar and people watch, not to get laid… although I wouldn’t necessarily OPPOSE an opportunity like that if it came my way. I am human after all.

But anyways, let us return to the matter of a questionable pussy at an odd hour of the morning. I left around 10:30 PM and at that time, to my knowledge, we had no pussy in the apartment. My roommate, a guy, had gone to his bed over an hour ago and no one else had been at the apartment all night.

I returned home later that night, more like a few hours before dawn, and found myself staring at noisy pussy in my living room. Um, WTF?!? My roommate does not LIKE pussy — of the feline kind. He pretty much HATES pussy — of the feline kind.

So, mildly intoxicated and totally confused I attempted to figure out a plausible explanation for the unexpected presence of pussy in the apartment. A lamp had fallen off an end table to the floor and a set of blinds had also come down. Damn that pussy got wild in the apartment!

Nope. No logical answers could I come up with so naturally I yelled upstairs with the intention of awakening my roommate so we could talk about this new pussy that I found. He lumbered down the stairs and looked at me as though I had lost my damn mind. I HAD lost my damn mind and it was all over the mysterious pussy in the apartment.

He denied all knowledge of the pussy and alluded to the fact that I must have brought it home with me from the bar. Um, hello? I went to a bar, not an animal shelter! He said he heard a cat in the apartment and dismissed it as part of a dream… apparently my roommate does not find it odd to dream about strange pussy. I don’t know about you, but I recognize all the pussies in MY dreams!

So, in the interest of personal sanity I locked the pussy in my room with me and passed out. The pussy curled up behind me and purred its way to sleep, apparently content with my having stroked it for a while.

I woke up to the pleasant feeling of a pussy grinding against my thigh and quickly realized the pussy in my bed did not belong to me. I had to get rid of it quickly because strange pussy might have diseases and damn that pussy made a lot of noise!

So, after explaining to the pussy that it needed to get back to its home, I walked downstairs and pussy came right behind me. Spoke briefly with my roommate who had assumed his normal place in from the of the television watching college football and he re-stated his lack of knowledge about the origin of the pussy.

Well, given that we live in a moderate climate and the cat obviously had a home someplace in the complex, as evidenced by the fact its owner(s) had taken the time to clips its balls off at some point, we opened the front door and let the pussy go free. We didn’t kick it out or throw it out, though. We merely gave it the option to leave and as expected, the pussy looked out the doorway, looked back at us, meowed loudly with a cute purring sound mixed in, and headed out.

Funny how pussy can enter your life so unexpectedly and depart just the same. For those that have never seen pussy, I will share my pussy pics with you. Yep. Free pussy pics.

Stop snickering, ya’ filthy little pervert! And put away the hand lotion, too!

What makes this story so great? Aside from the gratuitous and almost completely unnecessary use of the word pussy, this really happened. Somehow the cat slipped into the apartment while one of us came or went that night and got trapped all by its lonesome until I staggered home at, um, well, that’s a secret.

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support.

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father’s details.

Or putting it another way…Who’s yo Daddy! These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

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Find more starnge, yet fuuny, stuff like this on Americas Best.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson, I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time…. well I don’t have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I’d have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

The husband was angry when he found out that his wife had been cheating on him.

He shouts at her, “I will play second fiddle to no one!”

She replies, “Second fiddle? You are lucky you are still in the band!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother. “Frank Brown showed me his willy today!”

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut”

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mum asked, “Really small was it?”

Sally replied, “No…salty!”

Americas Best Sarcastic MySpace Comments

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren’t at home.

The father told the mother, “If he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a drunkard.”

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they’d be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said, “Damn! It’s even worse than I ever imagined…”

“What do you mean?” his wife inquired.

“He’s gonna be a politician!” the father replied.

Americas Best Sarcastic MySpace Comments

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Blakk Frogg loves beer and Sarcastic MySpace Comments.

Oh, you nasty little bastards and bastardettes for clicking the link that brought you here. Shame on you — and welcome!

Blakk Frogg will now show you pics of a girl who REALLY knows how to sneak up on, capture and consume a dildo!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Yep. Another poor dildo captured and consumed. Poor fella probably never knew what swallowed him, either. 😛

Time for Blakk Frogg to get back to cleaning the house…. or drinking beer, whichever comes first.

– blakk frogg

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If you liked this girl’s dildo eating antics, you have GOT to see the other girls on Girls for MySpace!